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What Love Has Made of Death 1

The Story of Avatar Adi Da's
Instruction and Blessing
During the Illness and Death
of a Devotee

by Carolyn Lee

From my early childhood, I was puzzled and fearful about death. And so when my sister, Robyn, handed me Avatar Adi Da's autobiography The Knee Of Listening in 1984 and I read the Prologue, I was touched exactly in the place where I was seeking. Avatar Adi Da was speaking of the deathless Condition, and I intuitively felt that His words carried a complete Freedom and Authority:

Death is utterly acceptable to consciousness and life. There has been endless times of numberless deaths, but neither consciousness nor life has ceased to arise. The felt quality and cycle to death has not modified the fragility of flowers, even the flowers within the human body.

Therefore one's understanding of consciousness and life must be turned to That Utter Inclusive Truth, That Clarity and Wisdom, That Power and Untouchable Gracefulness, That One and Only Reality this evidence suggests.

One must cease to live in a superficial and divided way, seeking and demanding consciousness and life in the present apparent form, avoiding and resisting what appears to be the end of consciousness and life in death.

The Heart Is Real understanding. The Heart Is Real Consciousness and Real Life. The Heart Is What Merely and Only Is, but Which Is also Appearing In and Behind the conditions of mortal life and its death.

Therefore, it is said of old, the One That Is Is neither born nor come to death, not Alive merely as the limitation of form (itself), not Itself (or Entirely) Rendered in what appears, and yet It Is the Living One, than Which there Is no lesser other (and no Great or Greater Other), Appearing As all of this Play of changes, but Eternally One, Unchanging, and Free.

There Is Only the Constant Knowledge and Enjoyment of the Heart, moment to moment, through the instant of all conditions of appearance and disappearance. Of This I Am Perfectly Certain. I Am That.

Avatar Adi Da Samraj
Prologue to The Knee Of Listening

Carolyn Lee
Carolyn Lee

So the first word of Avatar Adi Da's Teaching that I ever read was the word "death". His Address to human beings literally begins with death.

Over the past year, Beloved Adi Da's Self-Revelation of Reality became my living experience. This occurred in the process of the death of my sister, also a devotee of Avatar Adi Da Samraj. I found myself standing in a place where there is no consolation of any ordinary kind, but only the "Bright" Itself — tangibly felt and seen. By the Grace of Beloved Adi Da, I was able to go beyond the fear of death without needing to "believe in" anything at all — because the eternal nature of existence as Divine Light had become self-understanding, real Spiritual and bodily knowledge.

Carolyn Lee
Robyn Lee

When Robyn, three years younger than me, handed me The Knee Of Listening, she was already a devotee of Avatar Adi Da Samraj. She lived in Sydney, Australia, near where we had grown up, and she had two young sons. A psychotherapist by profession and also trained in holistic healing, she seemed to have a native talent for everything she did, from academic studies to gardening and flower arranging to the complexities of human relationships. She was an uncommonly sane and gifted person, always feeling and extending herself to others.

But I knew her at another depth, at the place of her passion for Truth. I trusted her at that level more than anyone alive. Therefore, when she spoke to me of her certainty of the unique Spiritual stature of Avatar Adi Da Samraj, I listened with great respect.

Within a couple of years, I also was His devotee, and my life was divided between Avatar Adi Da's Sanctuaries in California and Fiji. And so I saw very little of Robyn except on the occasions when she would come to one of the Sanctuaries for retreat. Nevertheless, my love-bond and psychic connection with her continued to deepen. In many ways, I felt like her twin. I was always moved by the steadiness of her devotion to Avatar Adi Da Samraj and by the beautiful gifts that she would send to Him over the years.

next: An Inexplicable Stroke of Fate

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